CREDIT

amaratuitor:

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SENPAI SHUSH that is embarrassing, i’m just a lame kouhai ok But I agree that it’d be a waste of your pretty icons. It would definitely be great to see you more on Touyii again. It’s worth a shot for sure! uvu

….omfg don’t tease me, you meanie

Uwaaa—- such a cute kouhai! I’ll see you around then, hopefully?! I’ll make my friends kick me on here every now and then, so maybe we can thread again and stuff. It’s been so long, but I wanna know how things have been on both your Touyas!

Fufufu. It’s okay, I don’t blame you.

amaratuitor:

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Nah, I’m pretty cool with it. It just makes me sad that the people I first met are rarely active or completely engrossed with their new interests. I admittedly feel a little lonely bc of it sometimes, but that’s just how it is. Gonna suck it up, that’s all. It would be hella rad if you came back, but I would also understand if you didn’t uvu/

…who knows. Maybe. B) drafts can be rather convenient at times ok

Everyone comes back some time, though. (wink wink) With cute kouhais like you, who would want to stay away forever? I think it’d be a waste of all my icons if I didn’t like… get back into roleplaying Touya, anyway, so we’ll see.

Glances at your recent smut. I see. Convenient.

amaratuitor:

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Mhh, it feels rather quiet to me; my dash is always moving rather slowly. There are still quite a lot of Touyas running around, but they come and go, only a handful really stays active imo. It’s disappointing, I miss the times when the dash was just… Touya. Touya everywhere.

Shhh, it’s a good that some things never change ok

Oh! I guess people are branching out more, I suppose?! Too bad for you guys and your endless Touyacest, huh… well, I hope that things turn solid again. It was a crazy community, that was for sure — I kind of miss it, even though I doubt I’ll be able to get back into the groove.

So you enjoy endless drafts, kouhaaai~?

amaratuitor:

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Let temptation win you over, senpai. It would surely be worth it, the pokémon rp community feels really quiet lately— I don’t know, many people jumped off the boats, but we’re managing hell yeah

Just the usual for me, drowning in drafts and having no motivation to do them 8’)

Temptation… is that something Blair taught you— kidding! Has it really been quiet? I can’t imagine that at all! I wonder if there are still thirty Touyas running around.

… Ah. So nothing has really changed at all. Silly kouhai. wwww 

amaratuitor:

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It was definitely a long tie since you were on this blog omg. omfg senpai no anyway it’s great to see you on my dash again! uvu

A-Aaah, it’s not that I’m back! But my friends are tempting me… so far I’ve found that my best friends are moving to Kalos and Blair macked on my Touko (which doesn’t surprise me) so you guys have been… busy?!

How have you been—!?

amaratuitor replied to your post:Hey nerds.
actually it’s been like 7 or 8 months omg hello senpai B)

… has it really. dusts off blog. kouhaaaaiii—!! It’s been so long! I missed your adorableness.

Hey nerds.

hueiswhipped:

It has been so long since she had felt the warmth of one of her childhood friends, and now Touya was the only one left.  It was only with Touya she could feel this nostalgic sense of comfort.  She practically melted into him as she held on.  On a normal day before all of this, Touya and Bianca would be on the floor laughing as Cheren chewed her out about tackle hugging people…but Cheren was no more—just like Touko…to her anyways.  The names, even in her mind, were too painful.

She often wished she still lived in her delusional world of the apocalypse and zombies.  Thinking everyone was dead as she drank the months away…

“I thought…you…”  Her head rested on Touya’s shoulder, taking her words slowly so nothing sounded apologetic or thankful.  ”I couldn’t take it anymore.  He chose you, and then I was nothing.  He didn’t trust me anymore.  He wouldn’t let me help him anymore.  I wanted us all to get better together, and I thought we were…but…”  Her grip tightened.  ”Instead of the three of us, it was the two of you…You would always chose him over me.  So when I exploded…when I finally had enough of him mistrusting me and pitying himself and all…I…I thought you would hate me like he has to hate me now.  Because…it’s the two of you and not the three of us…”

Bianca was afraid to let go now.  She wanted to tell him she was sorry for what she did (which was a lie, she had gotten so much better being away from Cheren), but that would be another apology on the stack, and she had already said sorry once.

Steeling herself, Bianca let go and took a few steps back, trying to make the heavy situation go away, she was going to hop back, smile, and offer to get Touya something to drink while they worked out the Hue situation.

What happened, however, was she fell backwards over a Mareep and fell onto her but with a loud cry of pain…silly clumsy Bianca.  After the confusion wore off, she did manage to smile.

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“Y-You’re still going to help, right?”  She said from the floor with a smile. “We’re…still okay, right?”

It ached a little to hear that Touko wasn’t regarded in the whole scheme, but he wouldn’t say anything about it. As far as he knew, she had never come into proper contact with Cheren or Bianca, and it was probably fear on her own part considering the whole affair with the former, but it didn’t stop him from grinding his teeth ever so slightly, or the buzz in his head that told him to slow down and that it can’t be helped. But of course, he couldn’t, she mattered too much to him and he didn’t care if the other two didn’t think of her as much.

"It’s always going to be the four of us." Came his firm reply, pulling back ever so slightly to meet her gaze and stare down the green pools swirling in watery eyes. "I’m not going to choose between any of you as far as friendship comes, it… it doesn’t matter how many times you leave or how many fights you have with him, none of that compares with the amount of memories I have with you that are good and that I treasure more than my blanket—" Scoff. "— Which I definitely don’t still have, but anyway, the point still stands. Just because I love Cheren… it doesn’t mean I don’t love you or Koko Pops as my best friends, even if he doesn’t have the best relationship with both of you." The crack in his voice wasn’t supposed to be there, especially not when it came to his feelings about the raven, and after he finished his sentence, Touya came to a precipitous road block in his night light drive to persuasion.

This really was killing him, wasn’t it. Metaphorically, of course, he wouldn’t ever go back to that night in the kitchen with a knife buried in clenched hands and a whining voice screaming at him from the other side of the door, but now it was only getting worse. Circumstances were bad, then, it wasn’t this pretend bullshit where they pursued happiness and in the end, were left with an immortal and perpetual grief, just adding onto the already accumulated worry and exhaustion over this past year alone. Three years, if you counted the sightless turmoil through the days they hadn’t seen each other. Touya despised thinking about it in his free time, the fact their lives hadn’t brought each other together, but had infact left one or two on their own, and drove the rest away—

A bright squeak brought him back to his senses, and abashedly he stared forward with a blink or two before it registered wholesomely that she had fallen over. And then she smiled, a beautifully sad upturn of the lips, which was horribly cliche and he felt kinda sick for just thinking of it like that, but it fit, so remarkably enough he didn’t bother groaning at himself. Too bad her question left him feeling incredibly split between what to answer.

'Yes, I'll help, and no, we're not okay.'

That was what he wanted to say, at least. Optimistic as ever, Touya failed to really give a solid answer, feeling the need to say the truth, that everything wasn’t alright and this was just temporary, it was just a dream, something he couldn’t even possibly tell her. After his speech about how everything would be alright, how they had to have hope, it would be incredibly pessimistic and hypocritical, if not just down right demoralizing and far ahead in the dejection, they would probably still be facing the same problem all along. A long time ago, he had learned that jealously and rejection were always going to be tied together, and those two matters were precisely the reason nothing would ever be the same. He couldn’t live a double life, he couldn’t pretend everything was fine and dandy when he lived in a house with a man whose shattered ideals and shards for words was living proof that they couldn’t make things better.

And as such, he barely found it in himself to come here. Visiting was abrupt and therefore his feelings were similarly executed, sort of smashed with a thousand little pieces of glass representing his thoughts, and each kind of just stabbed into him and demanded to be felt, like pain, like sticky note reminders with tape for application. Rocking back onto his heels and propelling himself skyward to stand, he bit back a sigh and took her petite hand in his own, giving a little tug to lift her back from the floor.

"Yeah, let’s get your life back on track."

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